What I Should Have Taught My Children Better

1. There is a difference between needs [most parent provided] and wants [not parent provided].
2. THANK YOU is the best two-word phrase in one's vocabulary and parents can't hear this often enough.
3. To be content with what you have is a great gift.
4. To be without something you want is normal and expected.
5. If you want something, prioritize, budget, and save for it.
6. There is more than one way to do most things right--and if you want it done your way, be willing to do it yourself.
7. A college education is an "extra" and not an expense required or expected of parents. Any assistance provided by parents is a sacrifice for them and a generous gift to the lucky, parent-endowed student. Make them feel like they are getting their money's worth.
8. Debt/interest never sleeps and is constraining. . . the sooner you pay, the sooner you are free. Receive interest, never pay it. . . a minimum payment is the credit card company's way of making a fortune. . . so pay off the bill in full each month--you don't need to make them rich. If you can't afford it now, you can't afford it at the end of the month. Save up instead and pay in cash.
9. Daily do-its include public areas clean enough to welcome company--living room, bathroom, kitchen including dishes. "Put the house to bed"--a ten-minute tidy-- and you'll have a fresh start when you wake to a clean dwelling. The other basic is 1-2-3: get it out, use it, put it away. You will never regret this.
10. Following counsel and commandments gives one the freedom to be happy and rich in ways that really count.

SOS, a Good Read, and other February Facts and Finds

Sugar On Sundays -- Bill and I accepted and signed up for the DMBA Health Challenge for Jan/Feb--no sugar snacks and 30 min. exercise a day. So far, we snack as counseled, and save our SUGAR ON SUNDAYS to really gorge ourselves on what we've been going without--the MOUNDS, cc cookies, etc. So far, so good...until this weekend--Valentines goodies did us in for two days. Our weight has stayed down when we've stayed faithful to the plan. YAY!

The Undaunted -- by Elder Gerald Lund has been a great break from the ordinary. With only one class to teach/plan, I do have Thursdays free, and with less homework to grade, record, I have actual READING time!!! This book has even helped me find a few pieces of my family history--chronicling mining experiences in England, as my great grandfather experienced during his era as described in the first 100 pages. I'm enjoying the sojourn vicariously with the pioneers who were missionaries to settle the San Juan River area in the 4 corners section of Utah including the courageous Hole in the Rock adventure. An 800 page uh, epic, it is quite a story.

Family History finds personally and in helping others has brought me joy and good times at the computer. I assisted a BYUH student the other day...she came in with one name and place of a grandfather. By the time she left an hour and 15 min. later, she had filled in many more generations back! Love Ancestry, and fortunately, her extended family had sent in their family trees. So, add that to historical records we found, and she walked out of there with many new generations of discovery.

I also assisted a friend with hers...found old familysearch.org still a big help in locating her ancestors with siblings. She seemed most pleased with this.

And then it was my turn. The Wales connection to my great grandfather's second wife has evolved now. Nice to cover the lateral lines. I'm now trying to find two babies who passed away before my great grandparents moved from Illinois to Iowa in the early 1880's, so we'll see how this goes. Let's hope my suspicions for Mercer County, Viola Cemetery are on the right track.

Valentines is always a fun day to observe. Family here, away, mothers, Bill's sisters, VT's--fun to give a little gift to...some with candy and quotes. Bill and I have enjoyed MTC's "Heavensong" CD for our gift to eachother--so lovely, as our wedding processional and recessional are on there: Sheep May Safely Graze and Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring. Many church meetings for Bill in town mean we get to listen on our drives there. Enjoyed dinner at Auntie Pastos for the last Honolulu one, and 3 LeiLei dinners/lunches recently with Sibleys, Wagners, Monsons. We like our haircut nights, too, so we can salad bar at Ruby Tuesdays at Windward. Fun to eat out. OH! Can't forget Hannemann's Kahuku Grill, too.

Family dinner this month was at our house. Liz Shropshire was guest, visiting from AZ, sharing her experiences this week about music with children in Kosovo, Uganda, and No. Ireland. Truly a peace bringer. She is a delight.

Homecoming Week/Alumni Week for BYUH--loved serving the hotdogs and also cheering at the victorious game Friday Night. Jet is back! We missed him. Aggressive and high scoring.
The bench is deep again, so nice to watch the comeback. Bill's stake enjoyed a Valentine's Dance where we dropped in to say hello after the game. Megan still plays in the pep band, so we go to support her also.

Flu has escaped our home, though Trevor and Devin and Kylee have had a few hard days in the past few weeks, one after the other. Now we'll see if we've gotten rid of that bug for good or will pass it around more. Hope the former!!

In other updates, our shredder got a work out at the end of January, taking 4 days to annihilate 12 years' worth of documents! I feel so much better knowing those are destroyed. Now it's on to getting taxes ready and files efficient and doable for the year. Our tree out back finally shed the rest of its leaves, after about 20 bags full, we're ready for bare-leafed branches, at least for a little while. Gardening beckons...hope the time comes back to do more of that. Pikake and spearmint, plus garlic chives thrive. Papaya trees are climbing!

Hau'oli Makahiki Hou! !

Wonderful Christmas memories-in-the-making have flowed nicely into celebrating arrival of 2010. The pre-holidays not yet posted included BYUH Graduation with Sister Julie B.Beck as speaker [we also got to provide her "to the airport shuttle"], enjoying the Honolulu Tabernacle Christmas Program--an annual "must see" for us, our 35th anniversary celebration while staying in town with the lobster tail lunch and shopping, making povitica, twice-baked potatoes at our home with Jenny, and festive-izing our home for Christmas Eve dinner for 24--family, dear old friends, new friends, too, enjoying Maddie Kite here with Megan for Christmas Day, all the Hawaii family here for the dinner and sandwiches, gifts also.

It was a beautiful Christmas season, but missing much our Erin and family in PA. We were glad to learn how much she did to capture as many Neal family traditions for her own, plus included in them the LDS missionaries who live upstairs from them in making it special. We're so proud of Erin--holiday fun she was able to share with others. THAT'S what this season is about--beyond self, focus on others. YAY ERIN!

Lull Week--between Christmas and NYr's is a fabulous take it easy time for us, but still very productive. Time to sort, organize, put away, rearrange all that is in our house. RELAXING?? Yes, it really is. Many bags to discard or give away. . . Xmas decorations put away, garage cleaned, shined all the shoes, checked all the pens for ink, finances settled--or at least the process is begun. . . these and other activities that don't always work their way onto the weekly to do list. Watched some football, too, and enjoyed other relaxing reading and seeing movies of interest.

Spending New Year's Eve at Ala Moana is becoming a desired tradition. Jenny, Aaron and Kylee also got a room and we all loved our Tanaka of Tokyo dinner that night, games and snacks in the room later while watching small firework displays in Honolulu neighborhoods from our high-rise room. I think I won at 2500 for the first time! Shocked! 2010 arrived with a literal B A N G--Toasting cider, then FIREWORKS at midnight, so pretty! A welcome sleep, then watched the Pasadena parade to start the day. We welcomed the year by helping out the Hawaii economy then returned home for the last half of the Rose Bowl game. YAY Ohio! and Penn State, too! Bread bowls of potato cheese soup. MMMMMMMmmmmmm.

Caring for our health continues to be one of our many goals. We're not sugar-snacking for two months, according to the DMBA guidelines, hence, the weight is dropping little by little. We're both glad to watch our weight and have always done that. It's been our philosophy since we got married. We are feeling better as a result. Love our SOS--Splurge On Sundays plan, though. Ice cream, cookies, etc. --we're allowing sugar then!! Exercising 30 minutes a day, the other guideline, was already in our daily routine. Love those early morning walks.

Prayer days and times grew in number, it seemed, so suddenly. We had many with news locally that did cause concern and truly deserved prayer these days. The Sorens, Nortons, Pierces, Wagners, Goos, and even some family members had challenges so were remembered often these days. The Lord's hands are the ones that help most, and often we are His hands for others. Updating frequently on all this news, I have a new name for FACEBOOK --- "FAITHBOOK."

New semester preparations started in, too, and some new traditions are set. Bill and Paul refined their b.c. class, and I did the necessaries for the Family History class, too. It's also nice to be back at the Family History Center for Friday volunteer time. Dates with the boys resumed--Wednesday is our day, and LOL is my subtitle for that!! Kylee-time was also part of the week, along with the Fast Sunday Family dinner which was here this month. Sharing the meal preps with daughters Lindsey, Jenny, and Megan is a new favorite event--a nice, full meal with such little effort!! I enjoyed watching the grands while the others had time to relax and visit. Papa Bill helped Trevor with his birthday Lego set in the other room, too. Ahhhh. So very nice. One of those times when I'd like to reach up and stop the clock hands awhile. . .

But other goals are set, life's demands are inevitable, routines are in place, travel plans are coming to mind, and 2010 comes marching in at a cadence we can't escape or place on pause. Like all the years lately since the girls have grown up, they seem to truly fly by sooooo quickly. I am so happy that so many of us are all still here, have each other to fill our lives, and have an eternity to look forward to -- ALL together then. For this perspective, and for so MANY, many other blessings, I am sincerely grateful and greet this year head on.

December Already!

It's been a memorable and wonderful year, with Christmas activities in full swing now, the year 2009 is coming to its end very fast. Since last posting, we've enjoyed our family's FHE Thanksgiving, being with the Pierces on Thanksgiving Day, finishing up [almost] classes and scoring major projects, attending concerts and Christmas programs and university dinners and receptions--including Megan's Brass Ensemble's performance, decorating our holiday home, spending time with the kids and grands, keeping up with college football and seeing who gets upset--Sorry Iowa Hawkeyes!--We've also had fun making dinner for Megan's roommates, preparing, addressing, and mailing our 2009 Family Photo Scrapbook Update to friends and all, and of course Christmas shopping and getting menus and gifts ready, wrapped, and sent. I'm leaving out many, MANY details, but the gist of each of these events and activities is easy to picture. Too many highlights . . . I love this season. Especially now that I'm healthy again.

I still love, L O V E my days at home, though. Any night or day at home is totally pleasant for me. We've had good, dry-ish mostly, weather, so no complaints in that department. Bright Hawaiian Christmas days, for sure this December so far, just like the song.
Last week worked perfectly for Pierces to be away on a surprise trip for their boys to Disneyland. It was project week to finish up and score for my classes, so now it will be more focus time for Trevor when he is here for homeschooling M-W [Phonics and Lang. Arts] and for Devin and Kyle and their Nanna dates here, too. Bryson is growing much, and budding a personality, for sure. Miss Kylee now crawls and pulls herself up, so she is joining the boy cousins in adventures when she can. Keeps mommy Jenny busy....so do the boys for their Lindsey mom! Avery--now known often as "Aves"-- is growing and now attends part time day care so Mommy Erin can get some rest during the days since he is napping less. Her night shifts are varied with some days, too. Variety is nice. Snow...deep white snow...and some ice have blanketed their Pennsylvania home this past week, too. They did get out to do some sledding. I wouldn't mind seeing some of that white stuff . . . for a LITTLE while, anyway. I'd be tired of it by January, which is how it used to be many years ago when we lived in 4 Seasons Country.

25 Years in Hawaii. . . calling to mind those who were here then and those whom we still see coming and going here in Laie. Jenny now lives in the ward where we lived when we first arrived here--Laie 1st Ward. She is serving in YW and sees the grown up kids she used to be with in Primary as leaders in the auxiliaries. A fun revisit for her and Aaron, too. Hawaii never leaves you, even if you go away for awhile. We're grateful for our time and life's experiences we've spent at BYUH and in Laie. Changes, yes, but in some ways still the same. Progress is good, tradition is also; we like both.

And such is the J O Y that is found and given in simplicity. May we each feel family is the source of our "HAVE"s of life: being Heard, Appreciated, Valued, Encouraged. When I feel these, I truly know J O Y in those I love most.

Wishing all a blessed December.

Autumn Get-Away and Family Update

Mid semester. . . and it worked out that a trip to Pennsylvania for me was in order. Erin has been a trooper working at nights full time, being a full-time mom and at home, but we could tell she needed a little sleep and Avery needed a Nanna for a few days. It had been planned into my semester calendar, if needed, to get to the mainland if need be, and I think it was appreciated by Erin, Wil, and Avery to spend time with them in Lock Haven for Halloween and the week after.

Thanks to Bill for supporting this, and to Jenny and Lindsey who made sure dad had some company and meals to share! Flying is always relaxing for me, especially the serendipitous finds...autumn colors over Dulles as I flew in, and the pleasant fall weather in PA for most of the week. However, I did have memories refreshed about chipping at frosted windshields! Didn't have a scraper, so used the plastic ID card one morning...it worked fine!

I loved assisting Erin by playing with Avery so she could attempt to catch up on sleep! We watched all kinds of dvd's...he's a Micky Mouse fan, but we also enjoyed Backyardigans, Little Einsteins, and some others, too. I'm still humming the songs from Little Einsteins. "You can do it, Carmine, you can win the race, for you are an amazing music car." Funny was this week I heard some of those songs as I drove along to BYUH. :D We also enjoyed a Pizza Hut lunch day, and a few visits to feed the many ducks in Mill Hall. See Erin's blog for the photos and video. Lots of trips to Walmart for me which is just 10 minutes from her house--such a rare experience compared to our hour-long Hawaii treks planned there! Enjoyed the rides in the PA countryside, cooking some favorite dishes, and a quick shopping trip to State College on Erin's day off. Some of my favorite stores!! Mostly, just loved being with Aves, playing and cuddling, and visiting with his folks who also got to escape on a date together and see a movie--they said that was a real treat!

Erin seemed to appreciate the sorting and organizing that I can't resist when I'm around, so that was nice, too. I like to keep busy, so she helped me occupy time during Avery's and her naps in their lovely home. Wil works at Rest Haven Cemetery in sales and events. Also works at Radio Shack, but just part time. He likes that one and would love to work into full time eventually.

On Halloween I accompanied the family andtheir friend, Asha, around the block with Mickey-Avery. He was a CUTE Mickey, but he'll enjoy this all much better as he gets older. Aaron's folks, Ed and Colleen Jensen, stopped by to deliver treats to us all. Loved the popcorn balls and donuts!!! It was so COLLEEN!!! Some houses we visited were really decorated in the season' s theme so it was fun to be a part of LH's celebration.

The semester is moving along. It's hard to get 14 weeks of learning into 13 weeks now! I had decided earlier that I would give up the individual/family mgmt. class to devote more time to the homeschooling and grandkids. This class was time intensive with both planning and grading, so feel it will be better for us all starting in January with only the family history class to teach. That sounds better already!!

Soccer season has ended, it's basketball time! We like that. November has all kinds of busy for Bill...first the Leadership Summit, classes, stake, SIFE, then the regional conference, and then Thanksgiving. Which means, Christmas is not that far away!

Jenny and Aaron have made a great transition here. Their home is lovely. Compact, yet lovely. Their time together has really increased since taking the PA post at the BYUH Health Center. This commute of 5 min. works out SOOO much better for them all! J is finishing up grad classes online and Kylee is now sleeping through the night. It's been a big year of change for them. A is now serving in a campus bishopric and J will serve in YW.

Lindsey's family just returned from an outer island escape to Kauai--Bryson's first trip. The Hawaii Pierce Clan enjoyed their stays there; L's blog has great photos and summary. Now it's back to the home scene for awhile.

Megan is into semester life and we see her through the week sometimes, here and there, and usually for Wednesday's "Subway Night" since Bill has meetings on campus then--SIFE and BYUH 2nd Stake. We also hear from her when she needs the car!! A highlight for mom and dad was hearing her play trumpet in a campus devotional recently. What a confident and lovely young lady she is. It had been a year and a half since we heard her play, and this arrangement with the brass ensemble and university concert choir truly was a precious "mom moment" for me. It filled the arena with a great sound, but filled the heart with precious, tender ones. :D

This is the monthly catch-up for now. Glad to see/hear from people on facebook, and see some Logan friends, the Wegeners, this week. GR A T E F U L for many things, so am writing one a day in FB status. It's nice to focus on the season in this way. It's been a good and filled month! Looking forward to more fun-filled days ahead.

NEAL Blessing Blanket, October Update, and More

Precious Sunday, October 4, 2009--Bryson Kealoha Pierce was blessed and wrapped in the Neal Blessing Blanket. This white, puffy blanket, edged in lace with a strip of blue and pink ribbon as a border, has been with each Neal daughter and each grandchild for their naming and blessings since Lindsey's birth/blessing in 1980. The blanket was made for us by Sister Leah Holmstead of Logan 19th Ward. This inspired Relief Society President knew just what I needed as I was preparing for our first baby to arrive. She taught me how to make these, and made the blessing blanket, 5 nightgowns, and Lindsey's favorite blanket that she still has and uses with her children! She taught ME how--and I am grateful to have shared that skill by making blankets for others through the years. I always think of Leah and her true compassion whenever I'm sewing those...and whenever it's time to bless a Neal baby. She was without a doubt an angel to me.

Standing in the circle was a new face in these parts, son-in-law Aaron Jensen. He, Jenny, and Kylee have now moved from Lock Haven, PA to Hawaii where Aaron is the physician's assistant for Dr. Nielson at BYUH, who has been our family physician for almost 25 years. It is a delight to have all of the Jensens here, staying with us temporarily, and we are enjoying our granddaughter, Kylee, so much. It sounds like "what goes 'round comes 'round"--Jenny's family may be living in Laie 1st Ward, near the Laie Park---that is the ward we attended 25 years ago when we first moved here. Jenny was the blonde girl in the nursery then...and got her blonde hair pulled a few times, I remember.

The Jensen move has fostered "going home" feelings for Erin and family. If it works out for them, they will also be trying to return to Hawaii at some point. PA is having a cold spell early, and some of them are not used to that! We hope and pray for the best for all of our family. Each is dear, whether close by or farther away. Avery is growing and is fun to see in online videos and photos and to talk with in cell phone calls. Technology does melt the miles some, thank heavens.

Megan has moved to a student house on Kam. Highway. She is living with 4 others in a house rented by our friend, Sherrill Erickson. Sherrill was the first beautician for the girls when we moved here that long ago...the girls used to sweep her floor while she cut the others' hair! Megan is taking some English classes, Japanese, and also some band classes. It is G R E A T to hear her play trumpet again. She works in the computer area upstairs in Snow Building for Kevin Schlag, not too far from Bill's office. She rolls around on her friend's skateboard and is involved in a few extra activities on campus and for Kahuku Debate judging. She seems to be liking college life here, and living in Laie makes that more convenient.

Lindsey's 4 boys keep her life very active. The baby blessing was followed by yummy soup in bread bowls and potlucking. But regularly, Trevor's schooling and soccer, plus Devin's mother's preschool, and Kyle the Playing Boy, and cuddly Bryson fill her days. With Trevor here at our house for 3 mornings a week of schooling, my time with the rest is more limited now. During summer it was so nice to be available almost any day for time to visit and play . . . now. with teaching two classes and volunteer work on Fridays at the Family History Center, the nanna-hours are numbered.

Fortunately, the classes this semester are moving along well. The 20/24 students in the HEC 220 and REL 261 seem more motivated, interested. That is a BIG help to me. Prepping is taking a new look--developing powerpoints for each daily outline to send myself. I'm now saving the curriculum in cyberspace as our computer grows older and since I don't want to ever lose all that I've done these past 8 semesters/terms. The family history updates online continue, so I'm always updating myself. Sometimes it's hard to keep up with all those changes. I'm very grateful to be an "early bird" in the mornings--generally, I see both 4 o"clocks in a day. Being on the computer by 3:30 each a.m. is a frequent occurrence. Wish it were not so as far as physical rest, but it is helpful for accomplishing my goals.

Bill is also enjoying his university life, especially teaching of Business Communications. He team teaches that, and also serves as the volunteer adviser for SIFE. First Counselor in the 2nd Stake presidency, he also has a full time position as the Assistant to President Wheelwright. His days, too, are busy. He has more energy at night than I do, but is patient with me as I collapse by 8:30 on the couch. Those early a.m.'s take a toll.

We love our "island retreat" home here in Hawaii. It has served as a pleasant, desirable place to get away from our work these past 6 years. We love our park and ocean view, our space, and the ease of care of this home. It is a joy to be at home and care for it. We both feel that way.

This month has brought changes, reawakened old memories, and made new memories--photographs in our hearts--that will grow in fondness in the years to come. From blankets, to cinnamon rolls for a wonderful, televised General Conference, soccer games and being with family on Saturdays. . .and beyond. . .we find blessings to be thankful for each day. This is a great time for us. We pray it may always be so.

Summer's End and What's New

The days pass quickly, and our end of summer/early September has brought new changes to our family scene. Lindsey gave birth to BRYSON KEALOHA PIERCE [the middle name means "beloved"--and he is] on August 26, her 4th and last C-section. He's a really sweet baby. So, her 4 little boys are keeping them and us ALL busy for now.

Lindsey enrolled Trevor in a charter/homeschooling experience called K12; several other families here have done that, too. Well, she sought some help with the Language Arts, handwriting, and phonics portions, so I have Trevor here 3 mornings a week for those subjects. Twice a week he goes to Waipahu [about an hour away] for in class study with his first-grade peers in history and science and for art on the other day. I've been helping with the driving since L cannot do that yet. He does some of those subjects plus his math with mom at home. PE is his soccer games/practices, so has a great curriculum, and can go at his own speed. Looks like he'll be done in April at this rate. It seems to be what he needed.
So, that keeps me on my toes with prep and mornings with him here. . . driving to Waipahu, driving to soccer practices, tending Kyle--the trampoline jumper and ball boy!!-- so she can teach, and just having "nanna dates" and playtime with all, including Devin who is another sweet playmate and GRANDson.


Quite a variety has been added to my "former" life. And more variety is to come . . .

Our other news is Jenny. Actually, her husband Aaron was just hired here by BYUH as their new physician's assistant. You may recall that Aaron grew up here too. The Health Center Director, Dr. Nielson, has been our and his family's physician so knew Aaron when they invited him to apply about 5 weeks ago when our BYUH PA for several years left for Provo's Health Center. The posted position closed last week, the interview was held early this week, and they accepted the offer last night.

SO, Jenny and Aaron and Kylee will move back to Laie by the end of September!!!! We'll be happy to have another family extension and connection here. Now 3 girls are living here--whoever would have thought they'd come home!!! Megan has started classes and works for the computer "Technology" crew. She moves closer to campus next week, across from Laie Foodland. Hooray, just in time for Jenny's family to use that room until their household goods arrive.


Erin is content to stay in Pennsylvania for awhile, getting that residency which may help with grad school costs. That's on hold another year as they recoup from their second across-an-ocean move. They keep busy with multiple jobs and their wonderful son, just turned one Avery. They will miss Jenny's family near, but fortunately, have a supportive, close branch. He's in YM and she's in Primary. Their central PA area is sooooo beautiful! I KNOW we'll continue to make visits to see them all.

So, besides those things, family history volunteering and individual assistance, Relief Society teaching, etc. and getting ready to teach two classes this coming semester, things are the same ! ! ! ! WHOA!! What an understatement!

For fun, Bill and I venture usually on Saturday afternoons after yardwork to enjoy an Acai bowl at KavaRoots in Sunset, or to Kaneohe, or beyond. Loved Julie and Julia, a fun film, recently. Our gardening in pots has been going well. Good dill, parsley, lettuce, tomatoes, garlic chives and spearmint have been producing, and our 5 yellow hibiscus shrublets are blooming more often now. That Alaska Fish Fertilizer is Amazing!!!

September 1 was the significant date of remembrance in our lives as LDS members. Life is so different from what we might have dreamed 35 years ago, but we are happy with how it has gone and where we've come to...and where we're heading.

Life is so good. We are grateful for that every day.

All of these things make life exciting and fulfilling. That's what they tell me, anyway!